Previously published on bobzilla.tabulas.com

Wow, what happened to me today?

  1. I held a baby. While this might not seem like the coolest thing, especially to you men out there, I have always enjoyed holding babies. I don’t really know why… but here’s the added bonus: seeing a decent guy holding a baby gets girls’ hormones RAGING. My coworker who seems to like/dislike me depending on the day, time, and whether or not Mars is in Aquarius had this look on her face as though she wanted to marry/bed me RIGHT THEN. Like I said, I’d hold the baby anyway, because he’s a cool kid, but I like puppies too, and there are definitely added bonuses to having one in your tender grasp.

  2. I met a few more people. Karen and D/Dee/Dea/Deana. More bartenders at the restaurant downstairs. Karen is HHHHHHOOOOOTTTTT!!! But that’s just my opinion. She’s clearly a beautiful girl who has added more - shall we say - a few more curves as she has aged, but I LOVE her curves. And she’s sweet with beautiful eyes and stuff. Damn, I should really look into getting a date.

  3. While at the bar, I sat next to this guy Pat. Pat has a lot of issues. Okay a LOT of issues. He apparently works at his own construction business about 37 hours a day. He has 2 daughters, one of whom is apparently a genius/uberathlete while the other (and imagine, if you will, Pat acting as a lobotomy patient) is apparently an idiot. Meanwhile, he has cheated on his wife of 18 years with at least 2 women on several occasions, one of whom he is still unequivocally in love with. After finding out I was 25 and lived above the bar we both currently occupied, he handed me his keys and offered me his truck, house, and wife (who apparently has a killer body and is great in bed) to trade places with him. I’m thinking if he was willing to trade that much, then maybe I should keep what I have. I’m pretty sure I made the right decision. Oh, and did I mention that this was the FIRST time I have ever met this guy?

Question: What does it mean when a friend who has always signed every email with their name all of a sudden, after talking to you on the phone, emails you the next day and signs it “Love Always?” Just wondering… I’m thinking that even if it’s not good, per se, it definitely can’t be bad, right?

Currently listening to: That sucking toilet sound of the Red Sox season

Currently reading: 1984 (again)